The Conduct code!!!

I am planning to take up the CAT this year! As the admission season has begun, I was doing my bit of scouting for diferent B Schools where I could apply to… All during office hours!!! Recently I came across a particular B School… and their code of conduct that was mentioned in the website. A leading B School had such trivial codes of conduct that I was really surprised how nobosy even noticed it! Neways, I believe ppl take up mgmt only afte they feel hey are mature enuf for it! But then, with rules like this, I have my own doubts abt the maturity of the management of the school!!!


XYZ INSTITUTE OF MGMT

At XYZ, we emphasize the importance of values, ethics, morals, sincerity, discipline, dedication etc in student life. We find more and more Recruiters are looking at not only your Intelligence Quotient (IQ) but also your Emotional Quotient (EQ) and Spiritual Quotient (SQ). (Cant believe they actually came up with all the quotients possibel! IO, QA and now SQ!!! What will they think of next!!! ) We desire to create a new breed of leaders, not just managers, who will be able to develop a strong nation. Both academic and personal disciplines are to be developed during your 2-year stay with us. We presume you have chosen to come to our B-school to make a career and not to waste your time in unproductive activities. (Holy Cow! How on earth did you get that!!! Was I that obvious???) Following code of conduct is developed for your personal development. You are requested to read this carefully and understand its implications before you decide to join us. If you have any reservations regarding these regulations, kindly feel free not to seek admission at XYZ. We look for a proper match between the philosophy, vision and mission of the Institute with your own personal values and expectations.


(This is some sort of disclaimer! A warning to all the students which says “Beware… Later don’t tell me I didn’t warn you!!!” )

CODE OF CONDUCT

1. I understand and accept that learning is MY responsibility. My purpose of being in XYZ is to learn and develop myself into a manager and a leader with a sense of responsibility towards society. I fully subscribe to the concerns, purpose of, and the processes at the Institute.
(I solemnly affirm that my loyalty shall never waiver from Taliban and its oppressive regime, and becoming a suicide bomber is MY responsibility!!! Dude! Whats wrong with you???)

2. This being a residential programme, I know that attendance requirement is 100% with respect to every class and every activity/assignment. However, I also understand that in case of exigencies I can avail 15% as leave with prior permission from the PGP Chairman.
(Ok... I am supposed to be a management student and not class 5th student from balshiksha elementary school! 100 percent attendence it seems! They’ll probably exect me to send a leave letter to PGP chairman tellin Dear Sir, As I am sufferrin from fever…)

3. I understand that Smoking, Drinking, and Drugs are not allowed in the campus, Presence of people having consumed liquor / drugs is also not allowed. Violation of these rules will result in instant dismissal from the Institute.
Fair enough! Considering the rest, this one doesn’t really make u laugh out loud!

4. I know that there is a dress code which requires all boys and girls to dress decently and in a dignified manner befitting a future management professional, which has to be adhered to and I shall abide by the dress code.
(No Comments! I wasn’t really expecting to come to college in torn jeans!)

5. I understand and accept that irrespective of any constraint(s) I have to complete activities and assignments on time. I will have to be self-motivated and no incentives will be available to me to get motivated, nor there shall be any incentives for co-curricular activities.
Motivation??? Ill be damned!!! After readin till this, I've begun to wonder as to what the word "Motivation" actually means!

6. I fully understand that I should not come out with any excuses or accusations for lack of initiative and efforts on my part. I shall not pass judgments either in public or private conversations without ascertaining facts from authentic sources.

7. I also understand that as a management student and one who subscribes to the values of XYZ, I will have to behave according to its norms at all times, both on and outside the campus. More particularly, I shall not behave in contravention of the Hostel Warden’s instructions. The Institute has the right to take correctional and disciplinary action if I misbehave with any outsider and if any act is in contravention of the norms of XYZ.
This one takes the prize!!! Now, I have to fear the warden too!!! Help!!!

8. I also understand that the examination system at XYZ is a strict one and in case of any malpractice I indulge in, I am risking my studentship for which there may not be any further warning, excuse or any opportunity to explain.

9. I understand that all the co-curricular activities including concept / space selling for souvenirs, EDPs, seminars, convocation etc. are essential assignments aimed at learning by doing and experiencing. These assignments may or may not have marks.

10. I understand that as per the OGPA evaluation system, I am liable to loose my studentship if I do not measure up to the standards prescribed. Even if I am allowed to proceed to the next trimester, I can be removed from the institution on declaration of the OGPA of the previous trimester / year. I am aware that I will not be allowed to proceed to the second year if I do not clear all the papers in the first year.

11. I understand that I will have to be courteous and polite with staff, colleagues, guests, faculty and others at all times, but not submissive.
Basically, I have tosuck up to the staffs!!!

12. I also promise that I shall not leave station without informing the Institute in writing. I shall also inform the change of my address and that of my parents both residential and official, to the Institute promptly.
Permissions Permissions and more permissions

13. I shall be attentive in all class sessions and shall write notes of each session which may or may not be evaluated by the faculty and may or may not be awarded marks. I also understand that if I absent from “Guest Lectures” I shall be fined to recover the cost incurred.
What the heck!!! I am speechless! Compulsory attendance… followed by taking down notes…

14. I undertake that I shall not lie, nor accuse / criticize or form judgments without understanding the context / circumstances, the person and the purpose. At the same time I understand that I shall have all the freedom, opportunity and avenues to air my views, suggestions, grievances, and also to express myself fully to the Director and staff at all times, which will be duly considered.

15. I accept XYZ as my own and I am here to make a career and therefore I shall do whatever is required to be done under the guidance, instructions, support and assistance of the Institute and shall not do or speak anything untrue, which will hamper the institution’s reputation and my purpose of being here.

16. I understand that whatever the Institute instructs or does will be in the best interest of the students and I shall abide by all the decisions of the Director and faculty although I may disagree personally or dislike certain aspects. However, I can exercise my right to clarify and being heard and to be counseled if I am wrong.

17. I agree to all the changes in the curriculum, fee structure, procedures and processes which may have to be modified from time to time as the institution evolves itself.

18. I fully understand that behavior (within or outside the campus) contrary to any of the principles, norms and codes while I am in this Institute will lead to remedial, correctional and deterrent measures and if the Director and or faculty considers it necessary, termination of my studentship.

19. I understand that the above rules and principles are meant to make my association with the Institute more effective, by functioning in orderly ways with a sense of purpose and commitment. Therefore, I understand what is important is not mechanical compliance but imbibing of the values and work ethos of XYZ. Towards this I hereby promise that I shall at all times along with the Director, faculty, staff and colleagues strive to promote and maintain a climate of love, mutual concern, togetherness, adaptation, team spirit, interaction and learning throughout my stay at XYZ. I shall be truthful to me, my purpose of being here, my parents and teachers at all times. I also understand and agree that I shall work tirelessly to live up to the vision, mission and concern of XYZ, which calls for at least 14-16 hours of conceptual learning and / or activities centered learning regardless of day and night.
How much more BS can they come up with? Esp. the at least 14-16 hours of conceptual learning and / or activities centered learning regardless of day and night part!!!Do they mean that hostel lights will be off only after each one completes 14-16 hours with the books? Whatever they meant, I’ll call it CRAP!

20. I shall follow all the rules of the hostel at all times and it will be my constant endeavor to keep my room and premises clean and tidy at all times.
I ve lived in a pig sty ever since I left home… Be it college hostel or current room! So, that leaves me out!!!

21. I shall not indulge in any activity, which would cause misunderstanding or division among students for any reason whatsoever I shall not indulge in any activity, which would lead to disharmony among the students who come from diverse backgrounds from all parts of the country.

22. I am fully aware that my purpose of joining XYZ is to have a quality education and placement is incidental in this process. I also understand that if my focus is only on placements, then learning will not take place. I also understand that I should develop myself competent enough to be selected by recruiters and XYZ can assist me only to the extent of bringing the recruiters to the campus and it is my sole responsibility to make myself fit enough for the recruiters.

23. I understand that I should live amicably with other room-mates in the hostel and I will not pick up quarrel with them on insignificant reasons.
I am 5 years old… and love playing marbles with a bunch of MBA aspirants. We love quarrelling on whether Barbie is hotter or Ariel (the mermaid). These are issues of international importance I suppose!!! (Phew!!!)


Basically, I wasted a lot of my 14-16 hours time going thru this sorry excuse for “Code of Conduct”. And in case u did the same… Welcome to the gang! The time you spent to read this could ve been utilised for scrating your hair, cutting your nails, sending forwards to unsuspecting colleagues, have 3 cigs, 2 coffee breaks… and then preparing for the CAT!!!